the calm before the storm.

June 12, 2008

 

my sensitivity level to the unspoken, the euphemisms, and even to the undefined is so high that sometimes i had to act as if i were numb.  

earlier yesterday, the air inside the house was toxic. i thought i was inhaling what i’d already exhaled. something was wrong–terribly wrong–i knew it dead-on. and everytime i had that feeling, i knew it would happen.

after my church service, i decided to block off  the negative vibes, the awkward silence, and the painful scenery with much gusto. that’s why, while i fixed my closet, i tuned in to magic 89.9’s good times with mo. the djs were talking about stereotypes–apparently, it’s a segment in their (in)famous radio program. it’s called “spin the wheel.” the marker landed on stereotypes hounding african americans–the item said: african americans are the world’s best performers and they have humungous whang.

 

the last clause reminded me of the saying, ”once you go black, you can’t go back.” true enough, majority of the callers agreed with dj mo who believes in this.

 

i got hooked to their interesting-and-starting-to-be-a-heated discussion. mojo jojo passionately defended his side saying not every ”brother” has lochness monster hidden down south. but that was easily refuted by mo. they were just talking about the general population. of course, there will always be special and isolated cases. i agree.

 

then a certain marcus (the black guy who sang their show’s theme song. it’s very good, by the way.) phoned in. without batting an eyelash, mo asked: ”so brother, how big is your whang?” i think i heard marcus’ adam’s apple snapped out. being a polite foreigner, he answered with great humility that it registers 6 on the scale. (and i wonder: 6 under normal condition? that’s something…) the queen mojo went wild (enough said).

 

(plug: marcus composed (i think), produced, and recorded a song dedicated to filipinas. i caught a line from the song and it says: “…nothing in this world like a filipina girl.” way to go, marcus!)

 

as they were about to wrap up the day’s topic, mojo mentioned a scale that measured the dangling thing of the male population around the world. and the scale revealed tha african americans ranked number 1 (meaning biggest and longest–the power combo). followed by the hottie latinos. at number 3 the europeans. charging behind are the americans (well, for this portion, you have to check the accuracy of my ranking). and the last are, well, asians. if we want to be more specific, mojo continued, those who belong to the yellow race ranked the lowest among asians. and mojo (still) continued, those breed models–the mestizo (the half and half) type–are the lowest of the low in the ranking system. geeze! can you imagine! everyone is drooling over them as they strut down the catwalk only to find out they are the “untouchables” (see the caste system) in the ”whang-dom.”

 

then, they closed with a song entitled, “99 Words for Boobs” (check youtube.com for the mtv).

 

well, at least, even for an hour, this show had given me the illusion that i wasn’t this close from a cyclone, which would take place just minutes after i left the house.

 

(oops, i almost forgot the other half of the stereotype. uhm, let’s settle the issue. yes, they are are the world’s greatest performers. done.)

 

and then it hit home…

to be continued…