should i feel good?

February 24, 2008

yesterday, i attended the european high education fair 2008 in makati shangri-la. originally, ooma and i should be going because it was us who first saw the ad posted on starbucks-valero community news corner.

unfortunately, he couldn’t make it yesterday (work and family thing).

i texted my two other best girlfriends, liz and cindy; hoping to scout some euro schools with them. it’s been a long time since we’d been to a fair all together. liz couldn’t; she had a make-up class at franck provost, which would end at 6pm. down to my last hope–cindy.

she’s fine with it. we’re all set to go.

in the beginning of 2008, i’d written–as it is my tradition to write my goals–that i’ll start looking for schools in europe to continue my education. it’s a long shot, i admit. but, why not dream big?

i was so excited to attend the fair. i felt the universe is conspiring to bring me closer to that dream. more than the euro schools’ prestige and the opportunity to travel, i’d been longing to get an education at par with the global standards; consequently, bring the learning to my country. i want to know how they do everything else in europe so i can apply that system (of course with some tweakings) in the philippines. sound too patriotic? but it’s true. i think that’s the only way to help my own nation.  

anyhoo…going back to the fair…

i was running late…terribly late. left the house at past 12noon. well i have an excellent excuse. my sis-in-law scheduled a termite protection thing…and i had to attend to the needs of my 4 nephews and niece before i could leave–familial responsibility of some sort.

on my way to makati, i texted cindy to apologize. then i received her reply:  i didn’t pre-register. i will not go. you said, di ba?

whaaat??? i didn’t know what happen. miscommunication? probably. let me abbreviate the story. i don’t want to relive it again.

eager not to let anything destroy my afternoon, i allowed positivity to emmanate from me.  

then, i arrived at makati shang.

these europeans know really know how to put up a fair, i tell you: amazing freebies, design-savvy brochures, outstanding presentations…men, they know what they want–US! hahaha!

i was innocently listening to a talk from erasmus mundus when the unexpected happened.

standing inside a crowded seminar room, all i could do was to listen to the talk and hopefully to learn something. there was no way i could write down pertinent information. while, again, innocently listening, somebody standing two persons away from me, made his way behind me. he was so close to me i could hear his breathing. i didn’t mind him. he had a reason–the space was too small for the eager souls. it was like on an lrt during rush hours; only this time, everyone smelled good. 

few minutes had passed…i could see from my peripheral vision that his head was almost resting on my shoulders. there were times that i caught him staring at me. then the magical hands made its way to my shoulders–first it was a finger, then two…then the entire palm. my heart started to beat wildly.

i wanted to move my shoulders to send him a signal that i wanted his hands be removed. but i didn’t. i was frozen. my mind starting to float somewhere else.  okay…okay i admit it…i enjoyed the feeling.

i wanted to talk to him. but i was too afraid. my courage left me that time. i couldn’t find the same amount of courage that allowed me to cruise the fair alone.

he was starting to mention things on my ear. i couldn’t decipher what those words were, though.

i couldn’t figure out what he looked like. but he was not the kind of maniacs who attacks helpless citizens like me. he’s a student who happened to be attracted by my allure. ahaahh! just wanted to insert that sentence! he wears a black jacket with two big stripes across it. his fashion sense was actually good.

few minutes passed…

when i finally mustered a little amount of my strength or what was left of it, i leaned back and said, "yes?"

he slowly removed his hand on my shoulder. then, i realized he already left.

whaaaat???? what’s wrong with him???

it’s either he thought that i was too numbed to feel that he was hitting on me or too coward to acknowledge his moves…

either ways, i failed to respond yet again. (yep, this thing happened to me on more than one occasion).

i will not say i was the only one who’s afraid. he was too! why didn’t he just approach me and asked for my name? i could have given him a bonus–my number! ahahahah! the last time this kind of encounter happened to me was roughly two months ago. i was in the spa-greenbelt. well, this story needs a whole new entry. i won’t divulge the details here…

so there…i was disoriented when i went out of the seminar room. a lot of questions was running in my mind: why didn’t i just talk to him? why didn’t i acknowledge his moves? why didn’t i just invite him on to the other talk and probably, we could start from there?

i had to pull my self back together before i went to the next talk courtesy of the british council.

who would have thought that that euro fair would let me exprience something unusual?

being alone entails a lot of risk. you don’t know what will happen to you and how you would respond…but am glad to learn new lessons, which will equip me better knowledge the next time i’m alone…

*sparkles!