i'm depressed particularly today–well, for the most part of the day. something has been bothering me since monday? i hope i got that right. i committed something wrong. of all people, to my beloved inahing ria.

i confess to have committed the following:

1. didn't go with them on our meeting with robinsons. an account we got through me.
2. didn't tell her of "my" schedule last monday (27 nov.). fine. i told her about it but it was a short notice.
3. didn't attend of the dinner with rina because i attended miguel's taping.
4. miscommunication with regard to the robinson's proposal.
5. (i forgot to place it on top of the list…that's why i'm acting as if i didn't forget) and, the thing that started it all (on my opinion), suggesting something to the client without consulting her. (but the suggestion was made in good faith, really).

no more explanations. all WRONG.

today, we had a meeting with amway. the thing that i feared the most (and expected…) happened. i felt she was mad at me. and she has all the right (see list). towards the end, though, things went on the right track (or that's what i felt…). i've sent my apology e-mail, nevertheless. just hoping things would go really the right direction after the letter. i'm just waiting for a reply…

what's with the title? it's connected with the dream i had yesterday. as i've mentioned earlier, i felt something was wrong. and that prescience affected me so much. i went to sleep early yesterday; a record-breaking, 0830PM. something i last did when i was in elementary. only to wake up around 1200MN. since i couldn't go back to sleep, i had to read Elie Wiesel's NIGHT (if you're following my previous posts, you'll know why i bought that book). After three hours of being awake, i went to bed again. i think that was the time i had this terrible dream. in that surreal place, the five members of digicon wizard was somewhere either in Eastwood or in the fort. Mommy Ria and Mommy Jo were nowhere to be found. they were attending a meeting that time the dream took place. that's the prologue of the dream. no counter argument, please. anyway, i fetched jackie and we went to mcdonald's by foot. on our way to the place, we were debating on how to get to mcdonalds'. i just kept on telling her i knew where it was. when we finally reached the ff chain, i left her for a while, then went on to fetch ace. on our way to mcdonalds', the wrath of nature suddenly came. dark clouds starting to hover over us. before we reached the destination, rain started to pour. it poured as if it would never rain again. the drainage system couldn't accomodate all the water. the place was flooded in seconds! when we reached the place where mcdonalds' once stood, we couldn't locate it. ace was so angry. he thought i made a mistake. i swore to him, i was correct. the water was rising so fast. so, i thought, the massive amount of water flowing like an angry stream could have uprooted the ff chain. while we were debating, i saw a glimpse of the yellow arches. i gathered the last ounce of strenght left in my body and dragged ace to reach the building which was like a paperboat obediently following the waves of the flood. when we reached it, we went inside. looking at the people inside, it is as if they didn't know they're already floating together with dozens of other things. jackie was enjoying eating her burger. when ace reached jackie's place, they started talking. what struck me the most was ace's attitude. he didn't even mention to jackie what we went through just to reach mcdonald's. when i was looking outside, the super typhoon became more fearless. no one seemed to notice but me. after that one last look, the glass windows were shattered by the lightning. that was the last time i saw ace and jackie. i never heard anything about mommy jo and mommy ria, either. that was the end of it.

when i recounted this dream to ace, mommy ria, and jackie, ace told me it's not more of the images, it's more of the emotions i felt after having that dream. since i couldn't cry yesterday, my tears poured into my dreams. just a guess. most likely it's correct. now, you make the connection.